


A helping hand

by dirtylittlewar



Category: Professional Wrestling, 新日本プロレス | New Japan Pro-Wrestling
Genre: Dirty Talk, M/M, i wanted to make this as gross and awkward as I could while also being filthy, insinnuated el desperado/Zack Sabre Jr., mutual masterbation, pretty much despy got the hots for the long boy, what’s better than dudes being bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-11-06 20:59:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17947010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirtylittlewar/pseuds/dirtylittlewar
Summary: Taichi resurfaces with something that’s definitely not his ball and Desperado can’t help but immediately fall into fight or flight mode as soon as he’s confronted with it. It was honestly his own damn fault for never picking up after himself and thinking Taichi had any sense of decency for other people’s privacy.A mistake he’s clearly paying for by the looks of it, as Taichi all but beams with the item he’d suddenly unpolished.“Despy, I didn’t know you were a Tenga kind of guy? Figured you’d be more of those weird otaku types that fuck their anime body pillows.” Desperado makes a grab for it but he completely underestimates Taichi’s commitment to being an utter asshole.He expected the teasing but it comes completely out of left field when he asks if they can use it. Which is fucking on brand with Taichi to ask awful and disgusting things of people as if it were nothing at all.





	A helping hand

“God, I’m horny, why didn’t you invite any girls?” He’d won, actually gotten the pin on his opponents, in matches of consequence. So he’d figured Taichi would have invited some of his hostess friends over to celebrate when said he was inviting himself over. Not play Tekken and drink highballs. 

“Because I thought you preferred dick.”

“I barely want to deal with my own cock so what makes you think I’d want to touch someone else’s?”

Taichi looks at him like he’s disgusted, like he wasn’t the very one making speedy accusations about Desperado’s sexuality in the first place, before he goes back to tossing the ball he’d found. 

“Sorry, forgot you only like foreign dick then.” Desperado punches him. Immediately upsetting Taichi’s weight and allowing for the ball he’d been tossing to roll beneath Desperado’s bed. He ignores him, even as Taichi continues the conversation Despy clearly wants to bypass in favor of another round of Tekken. “Zack’s hot, I’m jealous you got to second a guy that even the Boss can’t help but drool over.”

“Gross.”

“Hey, even our parents fuck, so I’m pretty sure the boss isn’t immune to getting his dick wet.”

“The Boss also probably kills his victims.” If there’s even anyone to speak of that would be crazy enough to consider the prospect of sleeping with Minoru Suzuki. He tries not to think too hard on it just incase.

Taichi resurfaces with something that’s definitely not his ball and Desperado can’t help but immediately fall into fight or flight mode as soon as he’s confronted with it. It was honestly his own damn fault for never picking up after himself and thinking Taichi had any sense of decency for other people’s privacy. 

A mistake he’s clearly paying for by the looks of it, as Taichi all but beams with the item he’d suddenly unpolished. 

“Despy, I didn’t know you were a Tenga kind of guy? Figured you’d be more of those weird otaku types that fuck their anime body pillows.” Desperado makes a grab for it but he completely underestimates Taichi’s commitment to being an utter asshole. 

He expected the teasing but it comes completely out of left field when he asks if they can use it. Which is fucking on brand with Taichi to ask awful and disgusting things of people as if it were nothing at all. 

“Hey, by all means put your dick in the same place mine has been but just know I’m gonna burn that thing afterwards.”

“No, you idiot. I’m going to use it on you, what kind of sick freak do you take me for?”

Okay. Desperado is definitely not as drunk as he’d like to be for this current conversation. He almost wishes he’d been incapacitated instead. “One that asks me shit like that, clearly.”

“Hey, you’re horny and I’m willing to lend you a hand without any outside judgement.” Desperado snorts to which Taichi answers with a quick swat to the hip. He actually looks annoyed that Desperado would think that. “I’m serious.”

“Really?”

“Yes, also I’m curious to see if all the porn about this sort of shit is actually real or not.” Welp, there it is. Desperado can’t fault Taichi exactly for being brutally honest, even if it feels like he’s been given mental whip lash. 

He gives himself a few minutes to really process everything, checking in with himself if he really wants this or if it feels like he’s being coerced into the situation. Which he feels like no, he isn’t, because Taichi isn’t bargaining with him or holding something terrible over Desperado’s head. He can walk away or shove the thing down Taichi’s throat if he even so much as says anymore rude shit. 

Still consent is critical and he wants to be asked properly first.

“Is it okay if I fuck you with this?”

“Yes but if at any time I want you to stop because I get uncomfortable you fucking stop. Also you ask before you do anything that doesn’t involve that thing on my dick.”

Taichi nods, body lax, but devoid of anything but complete understanding. That he reinstates everything back is something Desperado is thankful for, even if this is still fucking bizarre. “I stop at the first sign of no and ask for your permission before I do anything, got it. So first question?”

“Shoot.”

“Can I finger you?”

He’s going to kill Taichi before they even get started. He’s almost embarrassed at the fact that Taichi can even ask him that with a straight face, while he’s all but burning at the thought. “I don’t know...maybe?”

It’s clearly not a good enough answer. “Yes or no?”

“I’ll think about it while you jerk me off and then see how I feel.” Which Desperado’s already decided he definitely won’t because that’ll just lead to more questions he’d rather not address even exist at this point. 

Desperado finally finds it in himself to stand up and cross those last few inches, already feeling terribly awkward for the action, and regretting not having allowed Taichi to come to him instead. They just stare at one another, both clearly intent on not moving until the other makes the first move. Taichi, ever merciful, has the right sense of mind to pull Desperado forward and rearrange him accordingly.

It’s how he inevitably finds himself tucked back to front, wedged between Taichi’s spread thighs while his feet hook over his legs. It’s a position that leaves for little room to hide, even without the added notion that Desperado hasn’t even taken off his pants. Which Taichi seems to be starting on as he hooks his chin over Desperado’s shoulder to get a good peripheral on his lap. 

He doesn’t want to think about how fucking weird this still is so Desperado focuses on the hands unzipping his pants. The fabric catching as Taichi tries to push the denim down his hips without outright touching him before hooking a finger into the top of his briefs. They barely slip past his pelvis despite Taichi’s fussing. 

Fed up, Desperado tears them off himself before falling back into the warm cradle of Taichi’s embrace. He feels like an idiot for not taking his shirt off as well but that’d be even stranger than the fact Taichi hasn’t said a goddamn thing since this started. 

“So...you going to do anything or we just going to sit here and cuddle?”

Taichi pinches his side and gets an answering elbow to the ribs for his trouble. “I actually have to touch your dick first if I want to get anywhere. So can I at least jerk you off a bit before I use this thing?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” 

Taichi goes to reach for his dick but stops midway once he realizes it’d be in bad form to have at it with dry palms. Despy thankfully has enough self awareness to go in search of lube for them before taking up his original position. 

“Roll up your shirt it’s in the way.”

Taichi waits him out as he tentatively bunches the fabric upwards, shoving it underneath his armpits, before settling backwards. Like this it’s almost hard to ignore how much of his body is being put out on display, especially when Taichi still remains fully dressed. 

He probably wouldn’t be able to do this if Taichi wasn’t completely clothed anyways. 

“I’m gonna jerk you off, okay?”

That’s all the warning Desperado gets really before he feels the first press of wet fingers trail along his cock. The unexpected temperature making his stomach jump before gradually relaxing as Taichi tries to warm the lube up with a bit of friction. Allowing his fingers to curl into a loose half fist as he begins to jerk desperado off. 

It’s weird but not bad, it’s also not the best hand job he’s ever gotten either. Which he’s fully intent on sharing with Taichi until he suddenly decides to switch up the tempo, by using more pressure along Desperado’s shaft on every upwards stroke before going loose on the downward stroke. Taichi even goes as far as using of both hands as he jerks him off. Making Desperado’s teeth clench as he realizes he gets a bigger reaction out of him by thumbing over the head in between intermittent twists of his wrist. 

Taichi continues like that for a while, leisurely adding pressure when needed, pulling away when Desperado gets particularly greedy, and even going as far as to tease the overworked head of his cock with a blunt scrape of his nail. All that initial awkwardness gradually falling away as Taichi touches him with more confidence. 

It’s so good he might even be able to imagine it’s someone else touching him. 

But then Taichi talks. 

“A little input would be nice. I’m getting bored here.”

Desperado groans half in agitation and equal parts arousal at a particularly rough upwards stroke. “Thank you, oh great Taichi, for letting me fuck your fist. Now can you...a-ah please shut the fuck up?”

“You really have no manners,” Taichi jerks Desperado off a little harder than what’s deemed necessary for that one. “You can at least talk about how you’re probably imaging it’s Zack’s hand instead.”

God. He wants Taichi to shut up.

To punch him for planting that thought into his head and especially for making him revisit all those earlier musings he originally refused to properly address. Thoughts he’s having a harder time ignoring once he’s reminded of the lingering touches Zack shares so readily with him both in and outside of the ring. He almost wishes he could forget about the heavy weight of Zack’s palm curled over the nape of his neck, as he’d rolled into their corner of the ring to congratulate Desperado over their win. 

Zack had done most of the work, tiring Jado and beating on Yoshi Hashi, while allotting Desperado just enough time to pick up the victory. It was a lukewarm performance on his part but Zack made him feel better than what he actually was. Zack with his friendly claps to the back, and growing affinity for clutching at the little winged tips of his mask in playful affection. Zack who he can’t stop thinking about even now as Taichi’s got his hand on his dick. 

He must of let his name slip because suddenly Taichi’s rhythm stops and he’s all but smiling into the curve of his shoulder. His hands warm and sticky where they now sit just bellow his rib cage. “Wow, you actually were thinking about fucking Zack.”

“The opposite actually.” 

Desperado doesn’t know why he’s said that? Maybe in the hopes that it’ll throw Taichi off so he feels like he has the upper hand for once in just one of their many useless arguments. He almost thinks he’s won before Taichi’s grin gets even bigger. “Our little Pe-Chan is just so full of surprises...but I guess if I were gonna take another dick it’d have to be his.”

Desperado whips around so fast he nearly cracks his forehead against Taichi’s. Utterly incredulous to the off handed bit of information he’d unfortunately felt the need to unload. 

Annoyed. Taichi pushes at his forehead with his two fingers, which is just all sorts of fucking gross and incredibly unhygienic, considering they’d previously been on Desperado’s person. He bites back an insult to instead focus on Taichi picking up the Tenga. “Don’t act so surprised, we were in Mexico together when I was first learning to broaden my horizons.”

“I don’t want to fucking know. It’s enough that I’m going to have to share this entire experience with you.”

“Wow, I’m so honored Pe. I can’t believe I get to be your first.” Taichi pats his hip placatingly and Desperado elbows him for it. It’s just too fucking easy to irritate him, and as much as Taichi loves the constant back and forth, he needs to eases off if they want to get anywhere. 

So after what feels like hours of nothing but arguing, Taichi finally slips the silicone opening of the Tenga over the head of Desperado’s cock. Reveling in the automatic hard press of fingernails as Despy clutches desperately to his wrist in answer. He wants to fuck further into it but Taichi doesn’t let him, he won’t even let Desperado touch the parts of himself that are still exposed because of the free arm now slung over his chest. Trapping is own curled fist beneath Taichi’s forearm and forcing him to just watch as he shallowly fucks over his dick.

He gets light headed when Taichi covers the little air hole near the base of the Tenga to cause more suction. Before finally, giving a few long passes over the length of his cock until he’s settled back to focusing on nothing but the head. It leaves him overstimulated and Desperado weakly taps at Taichi’s thigh to get him to ease off. 

Taking the hint, Taichi settles into a rhythm Desperado is more used to enacting on himself. Those short little bursts of friction replaced with broader strokes, long passes that taper off with just the slightest bit of suction closer towards the base. It feels more like a blow job and less like Taichi is trying to force a climax out of him. Even the sloppy wet sounds of the silicone over his dick sound about right but he sort of wants Taichi to talk him through it. At least so he’s not so hyper aware of his own heavy breathing.

So Desperado is sort of glad when Taichi finally decides to open his mouth. Even if it involves saying stupid shit like this. “I bet Zack gives good head. He looks like the kind of guy that would let you fuck his face and get off on it.”

“Yeah?” God. He doesn’t know why he’s even encouraging Taichi to keep that line of thought going? Especially now that he can’t help but replace the image of Taichi’s hand with that of Zack’s soft mouth and tongue. 

“But that’s probably not the best of it, I bet he likes when you hold his head down and let him just choke on it.” And as if to help push the little mental image along Taichi shoves the Tenga all the way down his cock and holds it there. Finger trapped just over the base and lifting off every so often to mimic the sporadic movement of a throat. 

Desperado almost comes from that alone but Taichi has the sense of mind to pull off before going right back to it. He needs more and Desperado is at the point in the evening where he feels less shame about asking for it. Not when he can have someone else do it for him without feeling frustrated and unsatisfied by his own inexperienced hands. 

So he tugs at Taichi’s free hand, so that he can pry his fingers open to accept the sloppy serving of lubricant, before shoving his hand between Desperado’s thighs. “Just finger me.”

It’s Taichi’s turn to look incredulous. “Seriously?” 

“Yes, I’ve always thought about Zack doing it but I guess I’ll settle for having you instead.”

“Wow, you’re such a charmer Pe-chan.” Taichi smears the lube more thoroughly onto his fingers before allowing it warm over. He’s not looking for a broken rib because he decided to prod Despy with cold fingers. So in the meantime, Taichi distracts him just long enough with the Tenga to get two fingers behind Desperado’s balls. Touching the soft skin there before running his wet fingers along Despy’s perineum. Taichi does that once, twice, before slipping the pad of his finger over his hole, applying just enough pressure to massage over it without any actual penetration. 

He grins into the sweaty mess of hair tangled along Desperado’s neck as he gets just the tip of his index finger in. “You’re so dirty Pe-Chan. Wanting Zack to fuck your ass while you fuck his throat.”

“Yes, yes, yes.” He’s babbling and Taichi hadn’t even gotten past the second knuckle. “I don’t care what he gives me so long as he lets me have his dick.” 

Which is embarrassingly true. He’d settle for just Zack’s hands but asking for a hug almost seems to be too much. Just like how Taichi’s finger feels like it’s almost too much before he pulls out and starts on gradually inserting a second. He’s near thankful for the distraction of the pressure on his cock as Taichi twists his wrist before jerking him off a little faster. Taking his mind off the hand between his legs until Taichi pushes in just that bit further past the initial resistance and presses directly into his prostate. 

“Oh fuck, do that again.” It’s feels like he gets tunnel vision for a minute. Taichi does it again but he misses, barely grazing whatever set of nerves that originally set his whole body ablaze, until Desperado shifts. He gets an answering groan for his troubles before Desperado is reduced to a near sobbing mess as Taichi relentlessly finger fucks him. 

He can barely hear Taichi’s voice over the wet squelching sounds of the Tenga working over his dick and the harsh clap of skin on skin as Taichi brutally fingers him. His wrists is probably burning but Desperado is too distracted by the impending climax. It’s not until Taichi asks if he wants Zack to come inside or on his ass that he finally feels the first few waves of his orgasm. 

Which leaves him absolutely exhausted so he’s happy when Taichi doesn’t immediately pull away. Well, he was until the asshole decided to wipe his fingers onto Desperado’s chest. He whimpers when Taichi pulls the Tenga of his softening dick before tossing it onto the floor, both of them ignoring it when it rolls back underneath the bed.

“Well, as much as I’d love to cuddle I have to go wash my hands.” Taichi bodily drags Desperado out of his lap to deposit him into the cleaner part of the mattress. Decidedly ignoring the fact he’d had his own erection pressed into Despy’s lower back for the duration of whatever this had been. 

Desperado doesn’t even get the chance to ask if Taichi wants him to give him a sloppy hand job before he disappears into the bathroom. Probably dealing with it himself. Desperado is glad because at least now he can wobbily slip back into his boxers before rolling into bed to promptly pass out. 

At least he tries to, anyways. 

Taichi comes back some time later, flipping off the light, and carefully crawling into the space Despy had left for him. It doesn’t even take five minutes before he’s completely passed out. 

But if Desperado has a harder time sleeping well, that’s probably on him for saying yes to this entire mess in the first place.

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted an excuse to write filthy smut between two terrible people with good chemistry for talking shit. Also I wanted to do a better rendition of a taichi/Zack piece that was kind of the same thing but not as executed as well. So pretty much this is the series of Taichi talking people into letting him jerk them off. 
> 
> Hopefully this turns into Taichi/despy/Zack because I like how they all interact. 
> 
> Anyways, sorry you got this long ass smut instead of the LIJ/LIJ I always promise/hint at writing but never seem to get to.


End file.
